Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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