At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
