you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
