he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
