Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
