By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
