It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
