Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
