I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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