Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize