We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
