Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
