i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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