The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
