ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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