It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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