I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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