It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
