Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
