'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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