I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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