Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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