i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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