1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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