I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
