I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
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