Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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