Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
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It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
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You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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