So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
