glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
