but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
did i just pee glitter
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
