Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize