that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
