If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He shit in the fireplace
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
