Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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