She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
