it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
