I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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