dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
