Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize