I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
