i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important