Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
