found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just gargled with NyQuil
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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