ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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