WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
