God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
