Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
