In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
