I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Alive.
So much puke
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
