i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
