Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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