she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
