Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
