I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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