Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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