Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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