i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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