Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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