I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
