I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Randomize
