after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
