Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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