My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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